Spinning - Jack's Mannequin

I'm keeping quiet til there's no more sirens
Lately it's hard to keep the hinges on with all the noise
I'll find my words when there's no one talking
The room is spinning, I have got no choice
Be patient, I am getting to the point.

I can't remember when the earth turned slowly
So I just waited with the lights turned out again
I lost my place but I can't stop this story
I've found my way, but until then
I'm only spinning

I'm keeping quiet til the phone stops ringing
Lately it's hard to disconnect, I just want something real
I've found the words if I could just stop thinking
The room is spinning, I have got no choice
Be patient, I am getting to the point.

I can't remember when the earth turned slowly
So I just waited with the lights turned out again
I lost my place but I can't stop this story
I've found my way, but until then
I'm only spinning

Spin beneath the rooftop
Hold on, wait until the room stops
Spinning

I can't remember when the earth turned slowly
So I just waited with the lights turned out again
I lost my place but I can't stop this story
I've found my way, but in the end
We're only spinning

I keep forgetting when the earth turned slowly
So I just waited til the lights come on again
I lost my place but I can't stop this story
I've found my way, but until then
I'm only spinning

New Look!

My blog has a new look!!! LOVE IT!!!

* For those of you using Google Reader this is a hint to actually look at my blog.

Things I Thought About Today

1. My dad gave me some military snow/water proof pants (camo). They are lightweight and comfortable. I realized though as I was walking in the library that they are not very quiet. I sure hope our soldiers have quieter pants to wear. :S
2. I LOVE library self check out. That's right. There is a self check out on the basement floor of the library. No need to worry about if the Library assistants are there. Technology can help you out. Especially on those late night runs to the library.
3. I have this small dread of using the bathroom after 9pm on campus. This is the time that the custodial workers come out and begin their daily cleaning of the buildings. I would just feel super awkward if I was in there when they wanted to come in a clean. Silly. But true.
4. Discovery of the day/week/month: You can print on campus without your signature card at any printer that has a keyboard. You just need super fast fingers and your student ID memorized and you are good to go!!! It was a triumphal moment for us in the lab. There was cheering and high fives all around. Thanks Hannah for the tip!

General Petraeus' BYU Top Ten

As Gen. David Petraeus began his remarks at BYU Thursday night, the commanding general of U.S. Central Command shared his sense of humor by reading the following list, which was received by waves of laughter and applause.

General Petraeus' Top 10 reasons BYU grads make good soldiers:

10 — They have already been on many a mission.

9 — Army chow is no problem for folks accustomed to eating green Jell-o and shredded carrots.

8 — It's not a problem if they don't know what rank someone is, they just refer to them as Brother or Sister so-and-so.

7 — They never go AWOL. They just call it being less active.

6 — They will seize any objective swiftly if you tell them refreshments will be served.

5 — They know how to make things happen. In fact if you ever need a base built quickly in a barren wasteland, stride out to where you want them to start, plant your walking stick down and say in a loud voice, "This is the place."

4 — They have innovative ideas for handling insurgents — like assigning them home teachers.

3 — They always have a years' supply of provisions on hand.

2 — They are the world's most reliable designated drivers.

1 — They understand how far Iraq has come over the last seven years, and they think that Iraq's old spot in the "Axis of Evil" can now be filled by the University of Utah.

-Deseret News

My Week

Most recent looking back.

I received a scholarship for my internship in England. Kinda cool! Last night there the History Department held their Annual Student Awards Banquet at the Provo Marriott Hotel. I didn't realize it was going to be such a big deal. All of the History Department professors were present and there was a guest speaker. I took my friend Geoff Nelson. I hope he had fun time. Part of the evening included a presentation of certificates for papers, scholarships and awards. We each got to walk up to the front and receive our fancy paper and shake hands with a professor (I have no idea who he was). It was a great evening. Here is a picture of three of us. We all got scholarships and are all going to England. Hannah, me and Cassie. YAY for Family History.
Another neat moment, Thursday's school paper had an article in it about student's involvement in the Census. See if you recognize anyone in the article ;)
It was a good week. Robin Gleaves and I went up to Sandy for the BYU vs. Utah Rugby game. It was at the Real Salt Lake arena (aka Rio Tinto Stadium). What a beautiful venue! The game was SUPER CLOSE! Our boys played well. We lost by 2 points. We were super close.
One of the best parts of the evening was watching the people around us. There was a New Zealander sitting in front of us. He knew what he was talking about. He was cheering for BYU as he was drinking his beer. He was such a good sportsman. He would always make fun Utah but also was very willing to pick on BYU when they were playing sloppy and when the ref was making poor calls (which he was). Here is a picture of a scrum.
This was the last game I could attend this year. There is one tomorrow but I will be doing other things. I am excited for next year though. I can't wait to see them play again. I am also excited about going to games in England. I discovered that there is a Rugby, England (just 2 hours from my home!!!!) The place where Rugby began.
Sunday was a beautiful day. Patty, Chelsea and I went out to the lake to have a picnic. It was great! We walked around the lake a bit and I even got some sun! I also took a drive around the lake. I love drives.

This was from a few weeks ago, but I went to the Brian Regan Show. The pictures didn't turn out very well but here is just a taste. Good times!

Idle Conversation

This is all we do now-a-days. We have "idle conversation". Conversation that is just filled with fluff. It goes no where. We learn nothing from it. It is forgotten as soon as it is said. Yet, this is all we do! We get together and "hang out", but to what end? The conversations we have are meaningless and worthless.

I have found that the conversations I enjoy the most are discussions. These discussions are ones that have purpose. I learn something new from these discussions. I come away still thinking about the conversation. I think we need more of those discussions. I need more of those.

Today we spend our interactive time watching movies and tv shows. We put on music. We get together and "play games". What do we learn about the people around us by doing these things? Very little, if anything at all!

I think this needs to change.

Learn the Art of Being Content

Paul declared, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians 4:11). He further taught, “But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). It is tempting to complain and murmur when life is challenging and things don’t appear to be working out as we wish. We learn from Nephi in his great afflictions on his journey: “I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (1 Nephi 18:16). The people of Ammon “praised God even in the very act of perishing under the sword” (Alma 24:23). The act of thanking and praising has great power to help us endure and is one of the surest methods for increasing happiness. It is also a way to define our relationship with God, from whom all blessings flow.
God reminded the Israelites that He gave them “great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not, and houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not, when thou shalt have eaten and be full; then beware lest thou forget the Lord” (Deuteronomy 6:10-12). He has similarly blessed us. When we recognize His hand in all things we naturally desire to express thanks and praise. We realize that He knows more than we do, that He doesn’t relish our suffering, and that in the eternal balance we are still in His debt. If we consider our blessings, we come to realize that if we were blessed on the scale of our best efforts, we would enjoy far less than what we already enjoy.

-March Ensign 2010 page 48

Lesson Learned

I'm home sick with a cold. Perfect timing. I have a million and one things to do including writing a 20 page paper, study for a midterm and read tons of books not to mention all the things I need to do for my internship. So where is the lesson, you ask.

Well, on Sunday I had been pondering all the things I need to do in the next few weeks and got overwhelmed but had a plan of action. I was even going to get a blessing from my home teachers for that extra help. However, my pride got in the way. That's right. I decided I didn't want to bother them and I would be fine without the blessing. Tuesday night I began feeling a little ill so I stocked up on cold medicine and orange juice just in case. Wednesday the cold was at its full strength. Not cool! I have so much to do and I don't have time to be sick. I took off work to go home and hopefully "rest it off". I got a call at about 8 from my home teachers saying they heard I was sick and wanted to know if they could do anything (including giving me a blessing). I was humbled and took them up on the offer for a blessing. Today I feel much better, my head is still a bit fuzzy, but my health has improved a lot.

Lesson:

1) When you feel prompted to do something, DO IT! OR ELSE! (The "or else" part isn't pleasant)

Pure Awe

I am so blessed to be here. Now. My struggles are different. But I can handle my struggles. I have read stories of women who watch their sisters, brothers, husbands and children get slaughtered by guns, spears and hatchets. I have read of husbands who buried victims of war only to realize later that those victims were their wives and children. I have read of war and the horrible carnage that is connected with war. I have learned about the life of a polygamist wife who never sees her husband for weeks and months on end. I ached as I learned about her thoughts and her feelings of loneliness. My insides hurt learning about the decisions of many women to refuse to have an emotional attachment (love) to their husbands in order to protect their hearts. I have read of beloved, faithful prophets who have sacrificed their lives at the fiery stake. I have learned of bondage and slavery and the hardships of not being free. I am so incredibly blessed to here. Now. I am blessed to learn about these experiences, heartaches and trials that people throughout history have suffered. If they can do those great things, I can do my part however small it may be.

Hello World - Lady Antebellum

Traffic cars, cell phone calls
Top video screams at me
Through my tender window I see
A little girl, rust red minivan
She's got chocolate on her face
Got little hands, And she waves at me
Ya, She smiles at me

Hello World
How've you been
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel, cold as steel
Broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, little hole
In the little world

Hello world
Every day I drive by
A little white church
It's got these little white crosses
Like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in
Say a prayer
Maybe talk to God
Like he is here
Oh I know he is there
Ya, I know he's there

Hello world
How've you been
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I'm never going to heal
I see a light
Little grace, little faith for the world
Hello world

Sometimes I forget what living's for
And I hear my life through my front door
And I'll be there
Oh I'm home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world
Hello world

All the angels disappears
I remember why I'm here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world
Hello world

*Dear world, I'm going to miss you the next few weeks while I dig a hole in my homework. Please be around when I come back! Love, Angela

Journal from the Past

I've been looking through journals of men who served in the Civil War. I have found some very touching entries. One of which I would like to share.

September 24th, 1864
Another letter from home reached me this morning, giving me cause to thank God anew for His goodness and mercy in preserving, thus far, the lives of my dear family. It seems to me that, notwithstanding the sufferings we have endured the past two years, we have been highly favored by a kind Providence. We still remain an unbroken family, while others have fallen on our right hand and on our left. Although death has come so near we could almost feel his icy touch and see his grizzled visage, we have been spared. It is not for us to know why -- short-sighted mortals that we are -- we are led in safety through dangerous, crooked paths, but our past experience should teach us to trust, with unwavering faith, the hand that guides us. But, after all, how frail we mortals be, and powerless. I find it to be impossible to abate one jot of my anxiety in their behalf. I am keenly alive to all the embarrassments our situation exposes them to, and can only school myself to endure, for a brief period, by considering the sacredness of the cause in which we are engaged. My wife can never know how much the confidence she expresses in my integrity has strengthened me in my determination to deal justly. I acknowledge I have been tempted. The inducements held out to me have been strong. Thus far, I have been enabled to resist them. The knowledge that my wife expects better things of me, added to my own sense of right, has thus far kept me, but there are times when I need advice -- encouragement. I want it -- crave it -- from my wife alone.
With men I am sufficiently self-reliant, asking no favors. With her it is different. I know she is sincere. I confide in her judgment; her intuition.

What a strength and faith this man had.

Source: BYU American Civil War: Letters and Diaries
Lane, David, 1824(?)-, Diary of David Lane, October, 1862, in A Soldier's Diary : The Story of a Volunteer, 1862-1865. : Privately published, 1905, pp. 270. S1546-D003 [Bibliographic Details] [10-3-1862] LaneDa:D1546-3

"Someday You Will Be Loved" by Death Cab for Cutie

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved

Rugby

I discovered today that I LOVE RUGBY! We went to the BYU vs Utah game. We won! But it was close. I am super excited to go to England and watch more of it! I got some pretty sweet pictures of the game too!

A letter

Dear boy 1,

You confuse me. If you are interested, be more obvious about it. I can't tell with the wishy-washy signals you are sending. Are you just a friend or do you want more?

Dear boy 2,

I know you don't mean it but in talking to you I often feel belittled. Please don't crush my hope. Please build me up. I know my life isn't perfect and I know I have issues. I am very aware of them. Please stop pointing them out.

Dear boy 3,

I don't know you very well but from what I can see, you are a great guy. I am not sure how to act around you.

Dear boy 4,
I am so grateful for our friendship. It has gotten me through many difficult days. I know when I have a problem I can come to you and you can help me fix it. Thanks for listening to my joys, sorrows and vents.

Dear boy 5,
Thank you for your example. I see a lot of qualities in you that I want in a spouse. Thank you for letting me know that guys like you still exist. It give me hope that everything will work out. Thanks.

Dear person 1,
I don't always wanna hear what you have to say. Sometimes I just wanna be left alone.

Dear girl 1,
Hey, I'm here. I'm important and I'm trying to be your friend! Friendship take effort from both sides. I'm getting tired of pulling all the weight. I'm tired putting effort into this friendship only to have you turn around and ignore it.

Dear girl 2,
I'm so glad we are friends. Your friendship has made my life easier. As my Anne of Green Gables would say, we are kindred spirits.

Dear girl 3,
I want to be like you. You inspire me to be better. Your example encourages me to be better and to try harder. Your testimony is so evident in everything you do. I needed you. I still need you. I feel like I can ask you anything (especially the hard things). Thank you!


Love Angela

*Letters are to individuals as well as several individuals. Anonymous for a reason. Just needed to get it all out.