I've had a lot on my mind lately and at some point I'll eventually get them all written down and processed. While trying to process everything that is in my head, and it is quite a bit of stuff, I found this article posted by a friend on Facebook.


15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy


It was very eye opening. Man do I have a lot to work on. Reading some of them on the list really hit home and helped put some of my floating emotions into words and laid out exactly what I have been doing wrong.


I'm excited to work on these things as well as the list I've already started.


The List from the blog is as follows:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Graditude

I'm grateful for Mike and Ikes. I always forget how much I love them.

I'm grateful I'm not allergic to peanuts. Honey Roasted Peanuts... YUM!

I'm grateful for technology. UK conference broadcasted from SLC conference center.

I'm grateful for technology (again). I get to talk to my roommate Ashlie on skype. Almost like being there!

I'm grateful for a free gym that is five minute walking distance from my bed. I now LOVE working out. I feel so alive AND it puts me in a better mood.

I'm grateful for raspberries. They are SO YUMMY.

I'm grateful for summer days with fresh fruit and BBQs.

I'm grateful for wonderful friends that know exactly what to say when I need help.

I'm grateful for my family. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.

I'm grateful for smoothies. Yum. I'm getting to a point where I have two or three a day.

Letting Go

I learned it is ok. It is ok to be upset about things. It is ok to be mad at people who have not treated you as well as they should have.

I have been struggling with actually being mad and upset with people who have hurt me. I have tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. I have made up excuses for them. I have tried and tried to think kindly of them. However, instead of the expected feeling of relief and peace I found that the things they have done to me just ate at me. It was hurting me more to be kind. Last night after having good conversations with a few close friends I finally allowed myself let it all go. I'm not sure what it was. Just a shift in thought I guess.

I am tired of guys using me. I am tired of being lied to. I am tired of being hurt. I am tired of people not caring. I'm tired of people killing my trust.

The moment came when I realized that things people have done to me in the past were not nice. People can just be jerks sometimes. I do forgive them for what they have done but sometimes the pain still remains. The trust has been broken and it is hard to let that go.

After having a good think about that I began to let things go and 'look up'. My friend Laura sent me a link to President Monson's Conference talk from April 2009. It fit perfectly.

Be of Good Cheer

Today, however, I’d like us to turn our thoughts and our attitudes away from the troubles around us and to focus instead on our blessings as members of the Church. The Apostle Paul declared, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” ¹

None of us makes it through this life without problems and challenges—and sometimes tragedies and misfortunes. After all, in large part we are here to learn and grow from such events in our lives. We know that there are times when we will suffer, when we will grieve, and when we will be saddened. However, we are told, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” ²

How might we have joy in our lives, despite all that we may face? Again from the scriptures: “Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you.” ³

There will be challenges and misfortunes. But be positive. Look forward... and step into the dark.

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown!” And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than [a] light and safer than a known way.” ⁷

-M. Louise Haskins

Remembrance Sunday

Second Sunday of November

Celebrated by all British Commonwealth

Sacrament meeting today was centered around remembering those you have served in wars. The stories told were moving and humbling. My thoughts went towards the stories I've read and watched. They went to the many gravestones I've seen in the past month throughout Europe.

Here they have two minutes of silence at 11am on Veterans Day and on Remembrance Sunday. It was such an awesome feeling to stand with my ward at 11am and be completely silent and think of the many people who have fought and died for me. Even more humbling was to look around and realize that many men in the ward serve in the military. To pause and think of their sacrifices and the sacrifices of their families. Many women are alone in a foreign land raising their families while their husbands are away fighting for their country.

Today I am grateful for the various men and women who sacrificed their tomorrows so I could have today. 

Smelling the Flowers

It appears I have forgotten that there are flowers!!

I realized yesterday evening after getting back from my day's adventures a few incredible things.

I'm in ENGLAND!!! Words can't describe that statement enough. Last weekend I was sitting at the statue in Trafalgar Square staring at Big Ben that was down the road. I was in a swarm of people from all over the world sitting in a place that many people only dream of.  On top of that I was doing nothing there. Just sitting. No where to rush off to. Nothing huge to see. Just time to sit and take in London.

Yesterday I drove in England. I went to a beach. I spent time with guys from a country that is several thousand miles from where I was living a month ago. I sat in their living rooms and saw their families. I was in a place that people don't dream about because they don't ever think about it. I think this was more monumental for me than being at the footsteps of Big Ben. I was witnessing someone's life. People I had never met until that day and people I've only known for a few weeks.

I'm not sure why this brought so much awe. But it has. Do we ever really think about where we are? Even if we have lived somewhere for our whole lives, do we ever pause to think about the 100,000 of people who would like to be in our place or who would find our lives just fascinating.

I'm not doing a very good job explaining my thoughts but I hope I have conveyed the gratitude I have for this opportunity to be here. I will try to always smell the flowers and really remember where I am.

Long Time Coming

With summer before me with time to read for FUN, I have thought a lot about the books that I want to read and even the books I have read. One that I have read has really stuck out to me the past few months. I've thought about it a lot and have wanted to read it again. For now, I'll just talk about it :)


How to Win Friends and Influence People
I think it is a book that everyone should read. It just lays out people/social skills that are just so basic and fundamental. Things we often forget to do.


One of the most important things to do is to really listen to people. Listen to what they have to say. Ask them more. And even more. Remember, a person's favorite topic is themselves. You could meet someone new, ask them all about their life and never talk about yourself. You would come away from that conversation with the other person thinking you are a great conversationalist (they actually knowing nothing about you). Love it! Try it! Meet someone (new or an old friend) and just ask about them. You will find that they enjoy it. They will probably return the questions (like a good conversation should go). Listening is so important. 


To listen doesn't mean to be thinking of what YOU are going to say next. No, listening is to hear, grasp, understand, and hear again what they are saying and THEN think of a response. This is a concept I don't think many understand. Including myself.


Asking about how others are doing and really caring is also something that is often lost. We often ask just out of habit not really caring. It is an intro that lets us tell others exactly what we want to say. I find it annoying. It makes me care less when people don't care about me. 


Anyway - There are so many ideas in the book. It is a must read. 

Lessons

1) People act differently around family.

With roommates' families in town for graduation there were family members everywhere in our apartment. It was very entertaining to watch the interactions of siblings and parents. It was also eye opening to see my roommates interact with their families. Family is the one place where most of us feel that we can be ourselves. Those are the interactions that are the most honest. I think it is important to see people with their families to truly understand them. 

2) I think a lot, especially in the bathroom when cleaning or getting ready.

Random, I know. This afternoon I was organizing my stuff in my new bathroom and then got ready to go out to dinner with my Grandma. I realized my mind was just going crazy. There were so many things I wanted to write down but didn't have anything to assist in that endeavor and was too lazy to get one. I think notepads and pens should be placed in the bathroom. 

3) New chapter starts now.

My roommates both moved out today. I miss them. I don't think it has really hit me yet. But I am sure it will. My new roommate moves in soon. I go to the Genealogy conference in SLC and then I'm off to Idaho and finally England. WOW! Here we go!

Clothes and Confidence

It is amazing the confidence and attitude that clothes can give their wearer. The wearer takes on the attitude/confidence that the clothes portray. Someone who wears business clothes finds that they are successful in their activities and feel confident. Wearing sweats and a t-shirt bring a very casual, lazy or even frumpy attitude. Wearing a skirt for girls can make them feel flirty. Tough biker clothes can help one feel invincible and tough.

I find that I dress for the confidence I want. If I want to feel confident, I wear something that is stylish and makes me feel cute. I know that if I wear old clothes or baggy clothes I feel gross and apathetic. If I want to be flirty - I have outfits for that too. Yesterday I wanted to wear comfortable clothes as I was finishing my homework marathon but still wanted to be successful. I chose to wear my dad's BDU (Battle Dress Uniform) pants, a cute cami and a fitted hoodie. I didn't really think much about what this would do for my confidence or success levels. But it really was a battle dress uniform for me. I felt tough. I felt strong. I felt like I could do it. The day (Wednesday) before had been a really not-so-good day. Things hadn't changed much on Thursday but because I was wearing those pants - I felt so much stronger. No break downs cause I was tough. I was Angela Strong.

Things I Thought About Today

1. My dad gave me some military snow/water proof pants (camo). They are lightweight and comfortable. I realized though as I was walking in the library that they are not very quiet. I sure hope our soldiers have quieter pants to wear. :S
2. I LOVE library self check out. That's right. There is a self check out on the basement floor of the library. No need to worry about if the Library assistants are there. Technology can help you out. Especially on those late night runs to the library.
3. I have this small dread of using the bathroom after 9pm on campus. This is the time that the custodial workers come out and begin their daily cleaning of the buildings. I would just feel super awkward if I was in there when they wanted to come in a clean. Silly. But true.
4. Discovery of the day/week/month: You can print on campus without your signature card at any printer that has a keyboard. You just need super fast fingers and your student ID memorized and you are good to go!!! It was a triumphal moment for us in the lab. There was cheering and high fives all around. Thanks Hannah for the tip!

Idle Conversation

This is all we do now-a-days. We have "idle conversation". Conversation that is just filled with fluff. It goes no where. We learn nothing from it. It is forgotten as soon as it is said. Yet, this is all we do! We get together and "hang out", but to what end? The conversations we have are meaningless and worthless.

I have found that the conversations I enjoy the most are discussions. These discussions are ones that have purpose. I learn something new from these discussions. I come away still thinking about the conversation. I think we need more of those discussions. I need more of those.

Today we spend our interactive time watching movies and tv shows. We put on music. We get together and "play games". What do we learn about the people around us by doing these things? Very little, if anything at all!

I think this needs to change.

Learn the Art of Being Content

Paul declared, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians 4:11). He further taught, “But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). It is tempting to complain and murmur when life is challenging and things don’t appear to be working out as we wish. We learn from Nephi in his great afflictions on his journey: “I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (1 Nephi 18:16). The people of Ammon “praised God even in the very act of perishing under the sword” (Alma 24:23). The act of thanking and praising has great power to help us endure and is one of the surest methods for increasing happiness. It is also a way to define our relationship with God, from whom all blessings flow.
God reminded the Israelites that He gave them “great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not, and houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not, when thou shalt have eaten and be full; then beware lest thou forget the Lord” (Deuteronomy 6:10-12). He has similarly blessed us. When we recognize His hand in all things we naturally desire to express thanks and praise. We realize that He knows more than we do, that He doesn’t relish our suffering, and that in the eternal balance we are still in His debt. If we consider our blessings, we come to realize that if we were blessed on the scale of our best efforts, we would enjoy far less than what we already enjoy.

-March Ensign 2010 page 48

Lesson Learned

I'm home sick with a cold. Perfect timing. I have a million and one things to do including writing a 20 page paper, study for a midterm and read tons of books not to mention all the things I need to do for my internship. So where is the lesson, you ask.

Well, on Sunday I had been pondering all the things I need to do in the next few weeks and got overwhelmed but had a plan of action. I was even going to get a blessing from my home teachers for that extra help. However, my pride got in the way. That's right. I decided I didn't want to bother them and I would be fine without the blessing. Tuesday night I began feeling a little ill so I stocked up on cold medicine and orange juice just in case. Wednesday the cold was at its full strength. Not cool! I have so much to do and I don't have time to be sick. I took off work to go home and hopefully "rest it off". I got a call at about 8 from my home teachers saying they heard I was sick and wanted to know if they could do anything (including giving me a blessing). I was humbled and took them up on the offer for a blessing. Today I feel much better, my head is still a bit fuzzy, but my health has improved a lot.

Lesson:

1) When you feel prompted to do something, DO IT! OR ELSE! (The "or else" part isn't pleasant)

Pure Awe

I am so blessed to be here. Now. My struggles are different. But I can handle my struggles. I have read stories of women who watch their sisters, brothers, husbands and children get slaughtered by guns, spears and hatchets. I have read of husbands who buried victims of war only to realize later that those victims were their wives and children. I have read of war and the horrible carnage that is connected with war. I have learned about the life of a polygamist wife who never sees her husband for weeks and months on end. I ached as I learned about her thoughts and her feelings of loneliness. My insides hurt learning about the decisions of many women to refuse to have an emotional attachment (love) to their husbands in order to protect their hearts. I have read of beloved, faithful prophets who have sacrificed their lives at the fiery stake. I have learned of bondage and slavery and the hardships of not being free. I am so incredibly blessed to here. Now. I am blessed to learn about these experiences, heartaches and trials that people throughout history have suffered. If they can do those great things, I can do my part however small it may be.

Glad I'm Where I Am

The past few weeks I have been learning a lot about the history of women and family. I have realized the great blessing it is that I am here, now.

It sounds crude to say it, but women used to be property. In many places in the world, they still are. I have been learning specifically about the United States so I'm gonna stick with that in my blog. Women were owned by their male family members. They were thought to be dumb and stupid. Much of this idea came from the puritans thinking that the fall was all Eve's fault. Women were not smart and needed to be treated as "children". Men thought that women didn't know how to take care of themselves and needed a man to help them. As 'property' women couldn't own property. When they were married, any property they did have went with their husbands. In the 1600s and 1700s men were the legal individual and therefore if there was some disagreement in the family and the wife wanted to separate (divorce was forbidden), the husband was awarded the children. Later, when women were seen as the pious sex, courts would rule in favor of the mother having custody (but this was much later). As time went on women found that they enjoyed being single for as long as possible because they had property and had a say in the community.

Sexually, women were just there to produce children and please their husband. Child rearing was something scary for women in history. 1 of every 10 births would result in the death of the mother. Wow!

I have learned many other things that has caused me to realize how blessed I am to be here, now.

After thinking about all these things, I have realized how blessed I am to be living in this time and this place. I am an American. I am free. I am equal to those men in my society. I have a right to speak my mind. I have a right to own property. I have a right to life, liberty and my pursuit of happiness. I hope I can use this power to weld good things in this world.

Cherish The Time You Have

On Friday of last week, I went on a date with a good friend. We went to the Salt Lake City Grizzlies Hockey game. Loved it! The hockey game was super fast and exciting. There was even a pretty intense fight on the ice.

The point of my post is as follows:

We went with his grandparents who were invited by Zion's Bank to attend (we got to sit in a box suite). It was great to feel important and special and to be rubbing shoulders with important people. However, the thing I loved the most was the time I got to spend with a friend's grandparents (the fact that they were grandparents rather than just important people). I miss having grandfathers alive. I miss the opportunities I would have had with them. I miss having them giving me advice. I loved having that for even just a moment.

Be Open to Change

Being apart of a military family has taught me to be open to change. I have learned that change can be good for us. New things help us learn and grow in ways we never would have before. I have also learned that it is important to be open to new ideas and new things. Not only is it good for you and helps make you well rounded, but it is an attractive quality. You may not like the new thing, but the fact that you were open to trying it is fantastic.

Because of these lessons I have learned I have found I have a difficult time with people who are very close-minded. If the world was more open to change, really listening to people and trying to understand each other, the world would be a better place.

3 Discoveries and No Bed

Halloween weekend. Destination: Home. Perfect choice!

Discoveries:

1. I love Idaho sunsets. I don't think I'll ever get over it! <3
2. One of my top 2 of the 5 Love Languages is physical touch. I forget how important touching is to me until I go home and I realize that touching is what is missing. Something as simple as leaning on someone or touching someone's leg does so much. Weird - possibly.
3. I have always disliked shopping. No more. Something has changed and I enjoy shopping for cute clothes for myself :D

No bed: That is right. My bed at home is no longer there. It was weird. "My room" is gone. My books are all that remain... and not for long. All of our household goods (aka furniture, dishes, clothes - EVERYTHING) will be leaving for England/storage the beginning of January. This is A LOT sooner than I had planned. It will work out. It just changes things.

Pondering Illness

Here I am, up before the butt-crack of dawn. I was planning on going to class. That isn't going to happen. I figure I should probably take another day to recover from whatever it is that I have. That and I am not a super huge fan of my 8 am class and honestly wouldn't get much from it. I did wake up at 5 from another nose bleed. I wonder if it was because I was really warm under my covers. I'm not sure. I don't have a fever. Oh well. Here I am. I have been watching people slowly get online. Half of me wanted someone to be up early so I could talk to someone the other half is wondering why anyone would get up and get on Facebook so early. Anyway.

Back when I just had a cough, I was walking around SLC and counting my blessings. Specifically in regards to being ill. The thoughts went as follows:

• I have a warm place to go when I'm sick and don't have to try to get better while freezing.
• There is little chance of me dying from being ill. Yepee!
• There are drugs and remedies that actually work and help you get better.
• I can always call my mom - the pioneers couldn't.
• Food is easy to come by which is very good when sick.

Anyway. Thank goodness for technology and medical innovations. I'm off to go watch a movie or something.

A Long Time Coming

Lesson Learned: Stay on top of things. It is much easier to take little steps daily to get to the top rather than one HUGE step to get up the whole freaking mountain.

How Lesson was Learned: I have found with my tons of reading for my various classes that if I do a little everyday of what is required, it is so much easier to get the homework done. I stay focused while I read and I actually enjoy doing the reading. Rather than postponing the reading for a later time when I have hundreds of pages to read at once.

Resolution: Write in journal/post blogs more often so it doesn't seem so overwhelming to post everything all at once.

Validation

Need a pick me up? Need to feel appreciated?

Get Validated!