Storm by Lifehouse

How long have I been in this storm?

So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

Water's getting harder to tread

With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you

Everything would be alright

If I'd see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

I know everything will be alright

I know everything will be alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown

So why am I ten feet under and upside down

Barely surviving has become my purpose

Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you

Everything would be alright

If I'd see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I know everything will be alright

I know everything will be alright.

My Best Friend

My Best Friend passed away yesterday. My dog Buddy was diagnosed with cancer three months ago. I knew it was coming but just last week he was doing just fine. The drugs finally stopped helping and he couldn't eat or drink anymore.

Sent from the Gods

This is what my roommates and I won at the ward canned food auction! Umm... there are no more words to describe....

I Repent

I know I complained a few posts ago about the lack of friendships and caring. I just want to say that I know very many people who do care and are really concerned about others. I am very grateful for their friendships. I was able to see it in action this past weekend. Anyway - I just wanted to say that there are wonderful people out there!

I did have a very good weekend. I find, once again, that my joys come from interaction with other people. I am happiest when I am with other people (especially friends that build me up and help me want to be a better person). I was feeling kinda down about myself on Friday because I was lonely. My loneliness soon left as many people that I love and care about wanted to hang out and spend time with me. I became once again confident in myself.

I am so grateful for my family and the friendships that we have created! My sisters are my heroes! 

Greatest Trial or Blessing?

I heard this thought today in my Midwestern class that I thought I would share with you all. Sister Crandell was discussing the Mormon Pioneers in Iowa and focused our attention to the many, many rivers that they had to cross to get from one side of the state to the other (Nauvoo to Winter Quarters). They had to cross the Mississippi and Missouri rivers and all of their tributaries. This put the saints right in the middle of tons of mud and lots of water. As big of a trial as that was it was also their greatest blessing. With the vast amounts of rivers, the saints were able to have water to drink and to wash with. They needed this water to help them survive. It makes me wonder what trials in our lives are actually our greatest blessings. How are our trials helping us to grow, prosper or even just survive?

BYU Dating

I'm going to vent. I'm sorry, but I really want to share this. I am frustrated right now. Frustrated with a lot of things. Most of them I can not fix (so I really should let them go). First - I'm sick and tired of people being stupid. Maybe I should define "stupid".

Stupid - (adj.) Immature, unreliable, stupid, lazy, degrading, critical, judgmental, fake, two-faced (the list goes on).

I admit I am guilty of many of these things (so I would be considered a stupid person as well). I am just tired of the fake friendships people have. I'm tired of people pretending to care. I'm also tired of people not caring.

I am also disappointed in the dating and lack of friendships that are oh so prevalent in my BYU experience. Let me explain. (I just want to say that I could be very wrong about the whole thing and maybe I've just seen the not good side). Most of the guys I've met here at BYU don't want to be your friend. They don't care about you unless they are interested in you and see you as a possible dating prospect. They don't want to have much to do with you unless you 'qualify'. There is no such thing as just friends with the opposite gender. Maybe there is just something wrong with me - but I've talked to a few other girls that agree. Maybe it goes both ways. Are girls not being friends with guys because they don't want to date them? And whatever happened to going on dates to get to know people better? Now people go on dates to decide if they like them or not. Whatever happened to friend dates? Dates that are not decision making dates. Dates that you just enjoy being with a friend. Dates where both parties have fun and don't have huge expectations. What happened to going out for ice cream or hot cocoa? Why is it that the non-BYU world can go out for coffee but we can't go out for a 20 min hot cocoa without having a DTR?!?! Okay, okay - I'm ranting.

What has happened to people actually caring and acting on that feeling? Where is the concern? I wish I could tell you! If anyone knows - please let me know!

Rexburg

Friday afternoon Stephanie, Raquel and I hopped in Stephanie's car and began our journey to the great town of Rexburg to visit Stephy's sister, Maria. I was so excited to go. I needed a break from Provo and from the BYU Utah scene. Crazy I know. We began our drive to Idaho and had some great conversations. We arrived in Rexburg at about 7:30pm and met up with Maria. We had planned on going shopping for food after we dropped off our stuff but we found something we had not planned on. Maria's apartment was out of toilet paper. You may not think this is a big deal but driving for 4 hours in a car usually leads to some need of relief. This element made the little trip to the store so much more important. Raquel and I thought that we would take a short detour to visit the loo in the store. This was not to be - they were cleaning the women's restroom just at the time we were there. We finally made it home and took care of business.

One thing i did notice while at the store was the evidence of the Idaho potato farms nearby. There were men there in their buttoned-up-red-plaid shirts with the work boots buy sacks of potatoes. I absolutely love it. As most people know I love watching people - and Idaho had a fresh group of people.

It was so good to be in Idaho. I wish there were words to describe the feelings that come every time I enter that state. The closest I can get is to say that it feels like coming home. Coming back to people who are down to earth and non-judgmental.

I think one of the best parts of the whole trip is that I did absolutely NOTHING! We watched 4 movies in the space of 24 hours. If I would have stayed in Provo, that extent of relaxation would have never happened.

I was able to take a brief tour of BYU-I. It was really a nice campus (a heck of a lot smaller than BYU). The whole of Rexburg reminded me of a military base. I think that was because of the lack of trees and the amount of "barrack" looking buildings in the area. There wasn't much else there.

One of the best parts though was the temple. The Rexburg temple was gorgeous! What a blessing for the students and local farmers.

We ended our trip with a party with Maria's Roommates (who were very sweet and awesome girls). It was at someone's home in Rexburg and they were making homemade fries. It was so nice to just be in a home and to be with Idaho people. The people in that home were so welcoming and inviting. They really wanted to get to know us as friends. So many people in Provo (I have fallen in the trap as well) seem to only want to be friends if there is a dating potential and eventually marriage. It is really annoying (I won't bring down this entry by venting about that). It was such a great weekend. I fell in love with everyone we met. The people were true to the Idahoans I know and love, they were friendly, hard worker and fun to be with.

That's my cue!

Last night I had an ice cream date with Alyssa. We went to the oh so famous Cold Stone for our treat. We had just finished the party in our mouths when a bunch of people began walking in to the store. Now these were not just people, they were couples - like 10 couples. I looked around and realized that that was our cue to get out of that love store and head home. It was such a weird thing to witness.

Remembering

I am disappointed in the world today. Today is November 11th. Today is the day we are supposed to be honoring our Veterans who have lived and died so that we could be free and living the way that we are. Why are we not honoring? Most people today don't even realize that today is important. I am so ashamed for my generation who knows so little.

This is a picture of my cousin, Geoff. He is a veteran of the Iraqi Freedom War. He has been to Iraq at least twice.

Cans for Men

Last night our ward had a canned food drive/auction. We would auction off our services and pay for them with our canned good. It was a great idea for an activity. My home teachers had mentioned that they had a great service on that list. My roommates and I were very curious - so what do we do. We go and use our family history/journalism/stalker traits and find out what their service is. This great service they were prepared to give as an apartment is to do a Shirtless kitchen and bathroom scrub while dancing and singing to the best music of the 80s including "All out of love". So basically we were really excited! We got our cans together and bid. Of course we won. We were competing with the Bishop (the auctioneers didn't read the "shirtless" part). Anyway, after the auction we went over to the home teachers place and watched some SNL clips and just talked about stuff.

I am really grateful for my home teachers. I can call them friend. I think what makes a great home teacher is someone that cares enough that you would feel comfortable to ask them for something. They don't need to be your best friend - but you should feel comfortable asking them for things. I am so blessed with the home teachers I have this semester.

Ban on Umbrella's

I am no short girl! This isn't normally a problem (except when it comes to short guys) but today I was walking around campus enjoying the rain that was coming from the sky and realized something that annoyed me. As the rain came down - the umbrella's came up. Now I don't mind umbrellas but when people don't know how to use them - I get upset. The girls around campus had their umbrella's up (and this is the part that annoys) the little ends that could poke your eyes out were at MY EYE LEVEL! I was so afraid of losing my eyes as I walked around campus. I would get trapped in tight little groups of people walking and there would be umbrella's ready to take out my eyes! It was so infuriating! They should ban umbrellas. I have my roommate Patty to back me up on this one if anyone cares to disagree.